No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
