People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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