hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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