We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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