If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
