Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
