Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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