They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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