she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
