do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize