So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Send help, water and tortillas.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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