she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
