Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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