drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
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