get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
