I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
