i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
ttyl tear gas
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
