They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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