marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I love how my cats smell like pot.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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