she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
