Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
3pm strippers are depressing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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