You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
