For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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