I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
