Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
