Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
