yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize