found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
