She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
