and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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