I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How's work?
Spinning.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
