arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
