Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
pray to the hookup gods
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
