I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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