I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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