a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
