And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
