And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
