You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
