he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
