the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
