I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
