Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
