if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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