he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
