dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
