Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
