you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
