Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize