the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
