there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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