i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
