This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
