no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
