She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
