what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
