So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
