Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
