I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
