i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
