Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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