I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize