I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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