Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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