Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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