My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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