Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
