i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
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her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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