I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize