I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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