I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
